Sky
by 8ouji-Rui
Summary: Reasons why he can't afford to have her in his life. Drabble.
1. Chapter 1: Sky

AN: Hello guys! I'm back! The Nejiten fandom was kinda empty these days so I decided to post something. I did not edit or beta'd anything so you could expect grammar mistakes and maybe some typos. Anyway, enjoy! Oh, and please leave a review. Thank You!

* * *

He looked at her straight in the eye, staring deep into her soul. The storm raged around them, and the wind howled throughout the night, but that seems to be the last thing on their mind right now.

"I could care less about your feelings.", his words were like daggers that soars through the distance between them, and pierced right through her heart, ripping it open mercilessly. She welcomed the pain.

"I know."

She smiled at him, just like she always did. Smiled at him as if she wasn't hurting the least bit, as if he didn't just crushed another part of her heart. But he could see, that the sparkle that used to be in her eyes each time she smiled was long gone, and it was replaced by a shade of darkness that he thought doesn't suit her at all. _You made them appear,_ his conscience nagged.

He knew that she's hurt, broken inside. She just refused to show it, just like she always did whenever she's hurt. He knew that after this, nothing would change. She would still support him, smiled at him, and train with him like she always did in the last 10 years. It will all continue as if he never said those words.

If he was to recall, that's probably one of the reason why she's the only female that has ever been close to him. It might also be the reason why he loved her.

But it's also the same reason why he couldn't afford to have her in his life as something more than just a partner.

He realised that he's way too possessive, that once he got his hands on something that he wanted, he'd keep them close to him forever. He would never let anyone even took one glance at it. But, Tenten….she's a free soul. She would not stay in one place for too long. She would try to break free and she will succeed, because he loved her too much, he knew he'd let her go. Love is nothing without sacrifices, right?

He also realised that when that happened, he'd be left alone. He's afraid if she ever left him, since he knew that he'd never move on. He would be consumed by despair and longing for as long as he lived. That's why he decided that he couldn't have her.

Because in the end, how could a lone bird, soaring in the big blue sky, could claim the very sky he's flying in as his very own?


	2. Chapter 2: Burn

A/N: Heya fellas! I know...it's been 2 months since I published this. The reason for my tardiness is because it's so hard for me to settle for something that I'd like you to see (or feel) in chapter 2. I spent 2 months on the idea that Tenten would actually understands his reasons; that Tenten would actually say that it's okay. But I think that when you're rejected, your first reaction isn't about understanding his reasons. That sort of thing happens in movies. When I'm rejected, I would think that my first reaction is that I'd judge myself. I want this to be as realistic as possible. So I changed everything, and this was made in an hour. But I think I like how this turns out. It may not be good enough to your standard but this Tenten is more realistic.

That said, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the storyline.

* * *

They never said it's going to be easy; falling for someone never does.

When she falls for him, she knew the consequences. She realised that there's a big chance that he wouldn't feel the same; hell, she knew that it would be a miracle if he would accept her affections. His words shouldn't hurt this much, since she already prepared herself for this.

She thought that the fort she built around her heart is sturdy enough. Now there's not even a crumble left of it.

If he saw her right now, he would hate her even more. She's soaked through the bone, and the rain doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Mud covers her foot, and her weapons are scattered all over the field. She's all alone in their training field. He decided to leave straight after training that day, probably because he's sick of how she acts around him. _It must've disgusted him,_ her conscience screamed. She knew that she's not as transparent as other girls, but with Hyuuga Neji there's almost nothing that can slip past his vision.

She had tried -a few times- to actually guess his reasons for dismissing her affections. But every time she did, she only found that the faults are on her side. Hell, Hyuuga Neji is almost perfect; except for his damaged heart. _Maybe I've accepted him too much; now I was too blind to see his faults,_ she laughed sadly to herself. She needs to get used to this; this isn't the first time she endured this kind of pain. His words hurt her in no way any weapon known to man could. She would prefer to be hit by her entire artillery that she kept in her scrolls, rather than hearing his words all over again. His words cut her open, and was coated with enough poison to make her blood burns her from the inside out. She knew that even if it heals, it would leave a permanent scar; a reminder of her stupidity. Tomorrow…..well, she knew that by tomorrow, everything would be fine. She'll act like he hadn't just broken down her walls the day before. She'll act as if she's not crippled inside. But for now, she'll deal with this the only way she knew how.

"…well, they never said it's not gonna hurt….."

She brought the bottle to her lips and drink her sorrows away. She has no one to judge her but the moon as her witness tonight.


	3. Chapter 3: Dance

A/N: I'M BACK! 

Sorry for the extra long wait. I actually had like.. 6 months of free time, which i didn't use to write more stories. It seems since that school has finished I don't have the inspiration to write more stories. Sorry for that.

On another exciting news...I MOVED TO JAPAN. for university, actually, but still. It's quite terrifying but exciting at the same time. Hahahaha.

That said, please enjoy the story. A huge SHOUTOUT FOR WINTER LEEN! She gave me new motivation to write. Please read her story called semicolon. It touched me on an emotional level.

Please Enjoy!

* * *

He dances alone in the middle of the field.

His right leg moves back mechanically. Right arm to his front, fingers raised, ready to let out a surge of chakra enough to kill even the toughest warrior at any time. He lowered his whole body a little bit to gain more balance. The veins around his eyes bulged with the chakra needed for his Byakugan.

She didn't come today.

He still practice alone in the field. He would not let her absence be his restraint to achieve his goals.

But he can't help but feel hollow every time he hits the practice target.

Deep down, he knew that the last time they saw each other, he pushed her too far. He broke her heart one too many time. It must be her last defence, since ever since that day she tried her best to disappear from his sight. So far she has succeeded. No one has seen her in about two weeks. Gai and Lee are starting to worry.

Still, he wouldn't let her absence be an obstruction to him.

Especially when he knew that what he did was right; he helped her break free.

Free from the cage of her affection towards him. It's starting to bring her down anyway.

 _She should just forget about me,_ he thought as he moved into his next kata, _we are a hindrance for each other._

Her expression from the last time they saw each other still haunts him until today. He doubt it will pass anytime soon. It's a constant reminder of his carelessness; letting someone get too close to him never bring any good for anyone, not even he himself.

And God, it hurts.

But the show must go on. The curtain hasn't been let down yet and the audience are still watching.

He continues his solo performance, in the middle of the pouring rain.


	4. Chapter 4: Scars

AN: HEY! Faster update this time.

I was adapting to college environment, especially since I moved to Japan suddenly everything is so different and...yeah. I thought of this when I was riding on the train back to my dorm. If you noticed, I always tried to make a good punchline in each chapter. I really like this one. I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes, but it's late and I have class tomorrow so please, let me know and I'll do my best to fix it.

If any of you is in Japan, or is planning to go to Japan, you can let me know! I'd love to meet you guys and maybe we could visit some place together.

If any of you like anime, I'll let you know where the good shops and discounts are. I promise.

That said, please enjoy and let me know what you think!

* * *

It's been a week since she last saw him.

The first day, she drunk herself to sleep

On the second day, she dealt with the repercussion and the pain from the day before.

By the third day, she's numb.

Something stopped her from coming to the training ground that day. Not even the frantic knocks from Lee and Gai could make her get up and go. She's just tired, cold, and stupefied.

She doesn't even feel like she's alive.

Because on the third day she realized something; he would never see her as something that is actually a living and breathing human being. He would only see her as something that he can use -a weapon of some sort, or even a target practice- in order to achieve his goals.

So she decided to be just what he sees her as.

She could get punished for this; trying to use a forbidden jutsu on yourself is illegal in her line of profession.

She doesn't care anymore.

She has been trying to seal weapon after weapon on her body. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it failed. When it failed, it would hurt her so much it felt as if the weapon is tearing itself out of her body. It would leave a scar that would never heal.

 _That's fine_ she thought. She knew that the scars inside won't disappear too.

It has been 4 days since she started this and there's exactly 64 weapons sealed in her body.

The scars that remained is more than the number of weapons she sealed.

She smiled to herself as she suffer through the pain.

 _It's fine._

Scars on a weapon are prove of its worth.


	5. Chapter 5: Mark

A/N: Hi! Finally, my first semester as a college student finished! Still haven't got my results yet, but I hope I got a good mark (for my scholarship). Anyway,,,, I got this inspiration from Maroon5's song "Don't want to know". It wasn't supposed to be like this! It was supposed to be more...idk. More angsty? At first I want to show how Tenten actually moved on. But the next song in my playlist after that was "Photograph", so this was made in a mixed mood. Hope you enjoy though! And Happy New Year!

* * *

Turns out, she does not come to the training ground again, even after 2 whole weeks of absence.

Gai and Lee stopped knocking on her door.

"You should go.", Gai said. _And see her_ , he heard his unspoken thought.

"She would come if she still wants to improve.", still, it's not Neji if he is not stubborn.

"It is not her who needs to be better."

That was a low blow, but when he glanced at his sensei, and he understood.

The one man whom he can always trust.

The one man who teaches him what perseverance is. The one who teaches them patiently, the one who succeed in training an idiot, a dreamer, and a stubborn genius.

The one whom he deep inside, respected like his own long gone father.

He treated each and everyone of them the same; as his very own flesh and blood.

Might Gai made their ragtag team into a family, and as a father, he teaches them.

That includes the responsibility to tell them, even using ways he himself hated to make his cherished children to realize and understood his reasons.

 _Stop being selfish._

And Neji, for once in his 17 years old life, whole-heartedly admitted his mistake.

He opened his mouth, to say something…but no words came out.

This wave of unfamiliar emotion seems to overwhelm him. For some reasons, Gai knew this without him saying anything.

"Do it right.", a strong grip on his right shoulder, then he is gone to train with Lee.

Neji look at the target board nailed on the tree where he always sit and meditate, while she threw kunai at the target.

 _It's long overdue, anyway._

He sighed, then get up and walked the familiar road towards her apartment.

The target looks too empty without her weapons on it.


	6. Chapter 6: Gravity

A/N: i am sure this has a thousand mistakes and not may carry the story out well...but I just need to get this out of the way :D

Enjoy!

* * *

Her parents were not destined to live long. They left her as orphan in the early age of 8. Thinking back, they were not that much different; his has more drama since he came from a huge hierarchy. Her story is just that her parents died in a mission gone wrong.

Just. That.

Well, she was never an emotional person to begin with, so she was not as dramatic as he is. However, there is one thing she remembers from her mother.

 _Don't fall too much._

At that time, she was way too young to heed her parent's advices. She play with the kids and fell way too often. She always came home sporting new bruises and scrapes and shows them off as if they were medals of valour. Her mother would chide her exasperatedly, and she would laugh at it.

 _I am serious Tenten. Try not to fall too often._

 _But why, mom? Falling is part of the fun._

Then she would smile, and she could see a hint of something that tinged her smile that she never could have put a name to it until now.

It was sadness.

 _That is why it's dangerous. You will never know when you would fall too hard you can't get back anymore._

Back then she would look at her mom weirdly, tilt her head a little, and her mom would let out a sigh and told her to wash up.

But sometimes she would hear her say something under her breath as she walks away.

 _You can never defy gravity, my dear._

And now, her 20 year old self who is currently standing in front of the mirror and holding a scissor on her left hand knew what her mother is actually talking about.

It was never about the bruises or the scars that remains.

It was never about falling down.

Heck, she was not even referring gravity itself.

 _It was love._ Her mind repeated the sentence over and over again.

And now, as she raise the scissors to her hair and start taking a small section of it, she regrets the fact that she never paid attention to someone whom she could barely remember.

 _But Ma, you forgot to mention one thing..._

Her hair is now just barely reaching her nape. It was not a neat cut, but it will do. There's no longer any use keeping it long for someone who would never notice it, anyway.

 _If gravity is the force that will always pulls you down,_

 _Then love is the bottomless pit you could never escape unscathed from._


End file.
